Tuesday, 8 May 2012

A Dirty Weekend

Weddings and the seaside, pretty much a winning combination in my book. This weekend was a very traditional countryside wedding in possibly the furthest place from London I have been that is still in England. Appledore in Devon.

Devon is far. First great western trains are not the best so after a fairly uncomfortable hungover journey we arrived in the quaint seaside town. The proprietor of the guest house greeted us with what I would call apprehension. "you don't need breakfast?!" was completely baffling to him. What's the polite way of saying 'no were going to be hugely drunk and stay in bed til the minute before check out', turns out there isn't one.

His glamorous assistant V showed us to our room. The words 'challenge view' greeted us on the door I was intrigued. When the door was opened the first challenge that presented itself was how did they manage to fit quite so many clashing fabrics in one room? Trying to conceal raucous laughter until V had left was also a challenge.

Once she did leave the riot ensued. Identifying around 27 chintzy patterns I managed to snap one pic. I couldn't take any more in fear of breaking the camera. After around 10 more minutes of pointing out various 70s appliances we squealed 'we haven't seen the bathroom yet!' on approaching the door I could barely contain myself, nor have any idea what was inside. After the shock of the blue suite hit me (and the musty damp smell) I noticed the metal rail were the shower curtain should be hanging...
"there's no shower curtain" (realisation hits)
"there's no SHOWER!"
Something there was however - a carpet. Why would you ever want a carpet in the bathroom? It's beyond me. We shut the door in the hope it would go away...obviously it didn't

Bathing in the blue suite was novel, the smell did not subside despite our best attempts at masking it with deodorant, leaving a nail varnish open in there. It was also freezing. Good nights sleep was not on the agenda, especially due to the fact as soon as there was a moment of silence one of us would break it with another fit of uncontrollable laughter at the time warp. Quite the experience.

More on the wedding next...
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